Not Quite Sphallolalia
by STAPLEgirls
Summary: In which Kurama flirts using big words and Hiei's completely confused. HK.


Ran: Hi, and welcome to a little collab between two members of the super awesome parody team, STAPLE! I'm Ran, AKA The Random Ninja, and this is my lovely co-host, Kayla, AKA Clow Bear!

Kayla: Hi everyone! This was a lot of fun to write, especially since it is for a series I have loved since I was a child, and am now able to appreciate a pair more so now then I did then, I hope you guys like what...we... *Looks around* HEY! If I am a co-host then why don't I have one of those cute little co-host coffee mugs like you see on TV?

Ran: Because coffee is disgusting.

Kayla: *Pouts* I don't want the coffee; I just want the cute little mug. *Notices the readers are still here. * Err... hi... anyway hope you guys enjoy our story! *cough*

Ran: Yes, yes! Enjoy our story! [/goes into Inner Ran mode] And review or the Ninja Squirrel Army will decapitate your broccoli while you sleep.

Kayla: AHHHHHHH NOT THE NINJA QUIRREL ARMY! *Hides behind Ran and whispers* Pssst, hey Ran-Ran, do the disclaimer while I secure the perimeter.

Ran: Eh, fine. We do not own Yu Yu Hakusho. Some guy does. And if we did it would probably be

A full on yaoi manga.

(And by the way, even though it didn't quite make it into the story, "sphallolalia" is a term meaning "flirtatious talk that lead nowhere". I got all the strange words from: http:/ users. Tinyonline .co. uk/ gswithenbank /unuwords. htm.)

* * *

Hiei had just finished up one of his patrols over that barrier, and was heading to the human world for a while, until time for the next patrol. He stopped running when he reached a familiar destination, Kurama's human home. He wasn't sure if the other was home at the moment. "I'll wait out here for now," He said to himself as he jumped up into a near by tree, sitting on one of the branches, back against the tree itself, soon after falling asleep.

After a long day at school, Kurama fell backwards onto his bed. After dealing with unwanted suitors and cranky boyfriends, it was nice just to relax, even if for one moment. There was a pause in the room before Kurama sensed the familiar presence. Grinning, Kurama rose from his bed looked out his window. Sure enough, Hiei was leaning against his tree, obviously asleep. It was nice to see a peaceful expression on his face, instead of the constant frown. Though, Hiei was going to start frowning once he fell out of the tree, which he was very close to doing. Pushing the window open, Kurama got onto the edge of the window and leapt over to the tree. He caught Hiei's upper torso just as he was about to fall over.  
Hiei wasn't entirely sure what had happened, all he was aware of was sitting in his usual spot on the tree, and then he was suddenly falling and was now currently in Kurama's arms. 'Well, this situation is rather different...' Hiei thought to himself as he tried to ignore how falling out of a tree was a slight blow to his ego. "Thanks..."

Kurama grinned and set Hiei back down on the limb. "You know, you have quite the cacoethes for sleeping in trees."

"I'm not sure if you are making an observation, or just being sarcastic..." Hiei glanced towards Kurama as he repositioned himself onto the branch.

Kurama hummed. "Both actually."

Hiei just looked over with an amused glare. After a moment of silence he decided to speak again, "I have a few weeks off from barrier patrols."  
"Really? That's great! Mukuro doesn't let you off often." Kurama leapt back onto the window sill and motioned for Hiei to follow.  
"Yeah..." Hiei nodded, then jumped onto the entrance to Kurama's room, following the demon fox into the room.  
Kurama sat on his bed and frowned. "It's too bad you can't come around more. I've missed seeing you."  
"Hmmm. yes it would be good if I could visit more often then I do," Hiei nodded in agreement, mentally denying to himself that a bit of him had been happy when he found out he could come visit.  
Kurama just smiled. He found himself unable to take his eyes away from Hiei. It had so long since they had last seen each other (okay, so maybe it was a month, but still), and he had missed the little demon. He was staring now, but Kurama still couldn't look away.

Hiei quirked an eyebrow when he noticed Kurama was staring at him... with a some what odd look on his face."...What is it?"  
Kurama blinked and mentally shook himself out of his thoughts. "Oh nothing, I suppose I'm just indulging myself in some oculoplania."  
Hiei now had a slightly confused look on his face, "What does that mean?" Hiei asked, although he hesitated at first, but he honestly could not help that he did not understand some of the stranger human terms.

Kurama ruffled Hiei's hair with an affectionate grin. "Letting ones eyes wander while assessing someone's charm."

Hiei grumbled a bit at his hair being played with. "Humph..." He pouted a bit at first. 'Wait... what exactly does he mean by someone's charm?'

"Something wrong?" Kurama asked with a lazy catlike expression.

"Nothing really..." Hiei started to avoid the subject, but curiosity got the better of him, "I do wonder though what you mean by looking at someone's charms."

"You know what charms are." Kurama lay back onto his bed, folding his arms under his head. "It's the good qualities of a person. The things you like best about them."

"... That is not what I meant by my question and know it..." Hiei said, rather un-amused, staring at Kurama wondering what he was playing at.

Kurama laughed. "I'm just being blandiloquent."

"I see..." Hiei nodded, 'Curse him and his odd human words!'

"You don't know what that means, do you?"

Hiei looked to the side not wanted to admit it, "...No."

"I'm trying to flatter you, Hiei,"" Kurama replied nonchalantly.

"Oh..." Hiei nodded, then allowed Kurama's words to fully sink in, "Wait, what?" He asked a bit thrown by the comment.

"Of course," Kurama continued, ignoring the other demon's confusion, " I could be much more forward with my flattery."  
Hiei was normally one to keep up a calm expression, but at the moment he was not, he looked rather confused, and although he would never admit it, a bit flustered. "What do you mean by being more forward?"  
Kurama leaned in closer. "Well, I could comment on how cheiloproclitic I am towards you."  
Hiei backed up about half an inch unconsciously, but caught himself dong so and stopped, "I don't know what that is, and I have no idea where you are going with this..." Okay so that was half a lie, Hiei did have an idea of what was going on, he just wasn't sure if he liked the idea or not.

Looping his arms around Hiei's shoulders, Kurama pushed himself even closer. "Cheiloproclitic is to be attracted to someone's lips."

Hiei was definitely in shock at the moment, but quickly shook it off. "Why would you be... attracted to... my lips?" Hiei asked, unconsciously letting his ears drift to Kurama's lips, wondering if the curiosity was also there from his side as well...

Kurama's face went bland and he stared at Hiei dully. "You're joking, right?" He said in a deadpanned voice.

"I most certainly am not joking... and think it was a very logical question." Hiei stated, flustered a bit, yet also confused by Kurama's reaction

"You are _such _a shrewd," Kurama said, eye visibly twitching.

Okay, that word he knew! "No, I am not," Hiei scowled a bit.

"Yes, _you are_. Hiei, you're such a shrewd to the point where you can't even tell if someone is flirting with you." Harsh words, but they needed to be said.

"I have never had to tell since no one has even flirted with me before," Hiei explained defensively.

"And no one has, up till now, because you're a shrewd."

"I am NOT a shrewd... and what do you mean by until now?"

Kurama groaned and flicked Hiei's nose. "Basorexia," he said, moving forward so that their faces were only an inch apart. "The overwhelming desire to neck or kiss."

Hiei grumbled at his nose being flicked, but forgot to be mad about it when he heard the next thing Kurama said... and realized exactly how close Kurama was, "What... what are you doing?"

Kurama ignored him and instead pushed the smaller demon down. "Apodyopis, mentally undressing someone. Something I've done way too many times because _you are a shrewd_."

Hiei, the normally calm and collected demon, except in battles, was currently pushed down, eyes widened in shock, and face flushed, "Why would you be undressing me in your mind?" So he logically knew why, he just didn't have the brain power to acknowledge that logic in the current situation.  
"Hiei, shut up and indulge me in some cataglottism." And with that Kurama took advantage of Hiei's currently open mouth and kissed him  
Hiei was is complete shock when he felt Kurama's lips touch his... and What the? Was that his tongue? Hiei was trying to form some normal thought, but eventually gave up, and inevitably began to kiss back.  
"You are a complete and utter shrewd," Kurama murmured against Hiei's lips. He wounds his hands into the others hair and straddled his waist tightly with his knees. "How the did you not notice for all these years how much I liked you?"  
Hiei was only partially connecting even normal words to meanings in his current state, as he felt and watched, the fox demon practically cover his own body. He was in pure bliss at the moment, then he heard the last part of what Kurama had said, "He likes me?' Hiei asked himself in shock once more, face flushing once again. "No one has ever liked me like that, so I had no way of knowing..." Hiei mumbled as he tried to catch his breath.  
Kurama grunted. "You're the most oblivious, shrewish person I have ever met." He kissed Hiei again briefly before pulling up to look the other demon in the eye. "I've had feelings for you, since the day we met. I mean, they weren't that strong at first, but everything grows over time." He ran his fingers through Hiei's hair tenderly. "I'm still in shock that it took you this long to figure it out."

Hiei was shocked, flustered, and... happy. Then, finally realizing the situation fully, he realized that he was a demon, and demons did not sit back and act all flustered and shy like teenage human girls, so he decided to be the one to kiss this time, placing his hands on Kurama's shoulders and kissed the fox demon just as he had been kissed moments before, then pulling back long enough to speak. "Well... it's not like you noticed that those feeling were returned."

Kurama could feel a vein pulsing in his forehead. "Well, it's not my fault that I can't tell what the hell you're thinking most of the time. Please, enlighten me on your ways of wooing."

"I did not feel the need to 'woo' you as you put it, since I didn't think it would have anything come of it if I did, and also it would have been a pain being distracted by such feelings during all the battles we were in," Hiei explained, although it was part truth, he left out the part about it being embarrassing to him to have been having such feelings.

Kurama, perceptive as always, decided to mess with the demon. "Oh, I knew it! You're ashamed of me!" he exclaimed, mockingly dramatic.

"... What part of what I just said made you think I was ashamed of you...?" Hiei asked, knowing that Kurama was just teasing him, but it still made him feel a bit guilty... "I would never be ashamed of you."

Kurama sighed. "I know you're not ashamed of me. I was kidding Hiei. I can't joke around with you, can I?" He smiled though and leaned forward into Hiei again. "Now, where were we?"

Hiei smirked a bit, now that he was comfortable in the situation, "I believe you were enjoying, what was the word you used, cataglottism, am I right?" Hiei asked as he leaned forward pressing his lips to Kurama's once again.

"I'm impressed that you remembered," Kurama said before he kissed back.

"Don't question my intelligence," Hiei smirked, and then decided to make the best of this... rather enjoyable situation, and he leaned into the kiss more, wrapping his arms around Kurama's neck. He decided to deepen the kiss and ran his tongue over Kurama's lower lip knowing the other would allow entrance.

Kurama smirked at the smaller demons forwardness and opened his mouth wider to let him in. Pulling his hands away from Hiei's hair, he slipped them down inside his shirt and took in the muscles of the others back.

Hiei felt Kurama's smirk, felt his hand on his back, and felt was also feeling the inside of Kurama's mouth with his tongue, exploring every curve and shape and ridge inside of the fox demon's mouth. He followed Kurama's example and slipped his own hands around Kurama's waist sliding them under his shirt and traced up the path of the other's spine.

Kurama shuddered from the touch and sucked lightly on Hiei's tongue.

Hiei moaned a bit upon feeling Kurama's mouth put pressure around his tongue, leaning into the kiss a bit more as he did.

When he heard the moan Hiei emitted, Kurama honestly could not help it when he burst out laughing. It was strange seeing and hearing him being so open. Not to mention very cute.

Hiei was not very amused that Kurama had cut off their kiss to laugh, "What are you laughing so much for all of a sudden?" He asked a bit annoyed...

"I'm sorry, you're just so...cute sometimes."

"What? I am not cute!" Hiei protested as his face turned almost the color of the laughing fox demon's hair, wondering what he could have possibly done to make Kurama laugh so much.

Kurama rubbed their noses together. 'Yes, yes. Whatever you say."

"Humph..." Hiei pouted a bit, flushing a bit again when their noses touched, "If you are done teasing me, I wouldn't mind getting back to what we were doing before you burst into laughter.

Kurama smiled and leaned down again. "Like I mentioned earlier, basorexia," he said, pecking Hiei lightly. "An overwhelming desire to neck or kiss."


End file.
